Aufschnaiter Family
It turns out my ex-girlfriend is actually my ex-boyfriend.
The small happiness I held by being able to drink if someone brought up ‘ex-girlfriends’ during a drinking game was now all gone. My own attraction to women ruined any pleasant thoughts that might have existed in my mind and now only two sad sticks stood in their place.
The setting had not changed. I was still in the office with Gon-chan beside me and my ex-boyfriend in front of me. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room locked on us. This shocking revelation attracted everyone’s attention.
“Ah, right, I should mention that I’m not into that. I don’t care what you do, but I’m not interested, okay? That’s just how I am. Between you and me, there are a few in my clan that are the same as you.”
The bald man smiled as he spoke. He’s not only the leader of hundreds of men, he’s also a very accepting man when it comes to sexuality. I think I’ve heard him bring up this subject before. It’s probably something he’s careful about whenever it’s brought up.
“It’s impressive though. Ash was always a bit of a tomboy, but you were able to transform him into something suiting your own tastes. It’s even a little amusing seeing him like this.”
Still, this could have been worse.
There is a saving grace in all of this.
Just the other day, I told the JC turned DC (male middle school student) that I was her brother’s killer and that I wanted her to direct all of her hatred toward me.
“I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding, Gonzalez-san.”
“Misunderstanding? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I am nothing more than your brother’s killer. It’s true that Rock-san is safe and unharmed, but that does not change what I did to him or your family. Besides, marrying off such a young and clearly talented member of the Aufschnaiter family to a middle-aged man like myself would be a waste of his potential. I can’t do it for Ash’s sake.”
The age difference between us would normally be something I’d ignore, but now it is turning into my saviour.
We’re surely more than twenty years apart in age.
I was trying to think of more excuses to end any thought of a relationship between the DC and I when the shotachinpo suddenly spoke up. (TN: everyone knows what a shotachinpo is right? Please, don’t make me actually type it out.)
“O-Ossan!”
“What is it, Ash?”
I was worried about what he might say.
I could feel my heart racing as I waited for him to speak.
“…well, umm…m-maybe, how do I say this…?”
“How do you say what?”
“You told me that you didn’t get close to me because of who I am or to use me. Maybe it’s just in my mind, but the ossan that taught me so much in his room was always so kind to me.”
That’s because you were a girl when we first met.
But now you have a penis.
Also, could you word that differently to avoid any further misunderstandings?
“I know you were just saying things to get me to hate you over your guilt of what you did to my brother….”
“You can’t really believe that?”
“B-But, I think that might be something you actually like, ossan!”
“….”
It’s fortunate that Hook survived the crash. It might be wrong of me to say, but I’m glad I thought he died in the crash. I’m also glad I salvaged the pendant from the wreckage. Without either of these things happening, my relationship with the JC/DC would have gone further.
I don’t want my first time to be in a man’s hole.
I’m going to push the idea of me feeling guilty over almost killing their brother.
“What do you mean ‘for Ash’s sake’?’”
It’s good to see that a love of family persists throughout all of the Aufschnaiters. Gon-chan didn’t hesitate when he heard me say it was for Ash’s sake. I’m sorry, but I’m going to take advantage of this situation and use this to prevent me from becoming the MC of a BL manga.
“He didn’t appear to be doing well at the academy.”
“Really? I’d heard the opposite.”
“In regards to his studies maybe, but you’ll have to ask him for more details.”
“Well. I guess I’ll have to.”
No men. I’m not interested in men.
“Weren’t you the one that did that….”
“If you’re talking about how he’s dressed, it seems he had been wearing that for some time before I arrived in Academy City. It’s just a guess on my part, but I believe he did it to avoid being politically purged.”
Words that I had heard previously in the academy provided me with my answer.
I had the correct answer all along.
Now it makes sense why he was avoided and ostracized when we first met. He even ran away when he first met Ester-chan. He must have felt threatened by a noble of the Penny Empire and was worried of what she might do to him.
I’m finally starting to connect the dots.
“Aah,that explains it.”
Gon-chan finally seemed convinced I wasn’t trying to marry his younger brother.
Good, I managed to get away with it.
Even now my naivety persists.
“E-Even so, I still love you! I love you, ossan! I’ll do anything for you, ossan! I want us to live together and never be apart! Children might be difficult, b-but I’ll try my best!”
The shotachinpo proclaimed he’d try his best to have a child.
I think there are certain things in life that are impossible no matter how hard you try.
“I acknowledge your feelings.”
“O-O-Ossan, I’d even suck your dick if you asked! No, I want to suck your dick!”
“Okay, umm…that’s….”
Is he serious?
Pi-chan must have influenced him.
I’ve never seen a physical representation of ‘bad influence’ before.
“I’ve never done it before, but I’ll do my best! I’ll improve! I’ll swallow it all!”
Don’t try your best, don’t improve.
Don’t swallow anything.
“Don’t you remember? You were hurt protecting a useless fool like me back in Academy City.”
I’m going to bring up Pi-chan’s attack and hope it helps.
I’ve always abused my recovery magic and it’s reached the point where I don’t even worry about me or anyone else getting hurt as long as it isn’t an instant kill. A great example of this is when I allowed the shotachinpo’s foot to be cut off by Pi-chan. It was entirely possible for me to prevent that from happening.
I never really think about it in the moment, but in retrospect, am I a bad person? I just sat back and watched him get hurt. I never really expected recovery magic to have a drawback like this. It’s beginning to mess with my sense of danger and preservation.
Fortunately, this lack of desire to protect the shotachinpo will play to my advantage.
“You saved me from Peacock-san back in Academy City. You attacked him after you saw him poison my food. You did that for me without a second thought about your difference in position or his seniority in the academy.”
“….”
“You did all of that while I watched from the shadows. I watched you try to fight him. I watched as your foot was cut from your body. I watched as you fell to the floor in a pool of your own blood. Throughout all of this, you never stopped fighting through the pain and agony for an idiot like me.”
“None of that matters to me! You still saved me in the end! I was certain I was going to die but you rushed in to save me at the risk of your own life!”
“I waited to save you.”
“I don’t believe it! That’s not true!”
“It’s the truth.”
“No, you chose to watch so I could try to stand on my own two feet! It must have been hard to watch that, but you knew I needed to learn to stand on my own before I could stand next to you! I’m so happy!”
“That’s….”
“I even jacked off to you that night, ossan!”
I didn’t need to know that.
I have no sexual proclivity towards men. Homosexuality is something that has existed throughout human history stretching to every corner of the earth. Men of all ages participated in such acts and to denounce it would be akin to making an enemy of a significant percentage of the world’s population. It would be worse than making an enemy of a radical religious group.
Outright rejecting him may put a strain on my relationship with Gon-chan. He may not be gay, but he is a kind man that’s accepting of everyone.
Not to mention I offer my full support to lesbians.
I only see a few options left to me.
The same line I told the lolibitch came to mind.
“I’m really sorry, but there is someone else I already like.”
“Eh!?”
That is the one thing I can’t compromise on.
No pussy, no life.
“You’re finally reunited with your family. You deserve to live happily with your beloved brother. You’re still young but you’ve lived a hard life. You deserve happiness. A bright smile suits you.”
I tried to add in a bit of kindness towards the end to help convince everyone of my intentions.
I glanced over at the hook handed man.
That hook is starting to get on my nerves. I’ll use my recovery magic later to heal it.
He’s already cool enough without that damn hook.
“Ossan, y-you’re misunderstanding! That’s now how it is!”
“You can stand on your own two feet and go wherever you wish. I’m not going to lie and say I won’t miss you, but a nobody like me doesn’t deserve to stand beside you, Ashley Aufschnaiter.”
“Please, just wait a second! I don’t have that kind of relationship with my brother!”
I’m not exactly sure what the DC took my words to mean, but he was clearly upset.
“I-I want to be with you, ossan, not my brother! Besides, it’s weird being with another man! It’s strange! It’s not like I would just suck anyone’s dick!”
Why does it always come back to sucking dick?
“I’m a man too.”
“It’s different with you, ossan!”
“….”
I glanced over at Hook who averted his gaze.
Why aren’t you stepping up, brother?
I recall a few moments ago you two in a warm embrace.
“I was so happy when you accepted my tongue….”
Hold up.
Why do you keep bringing up things involving your mouth?
It’s true that when we kissed his tongue did enter my mouth, but that was something unavoidable. It was my first kiss after all. The first time in over thirty years that anyone has kissed me and I thought it was a girl.
“You need to become more introspective. Someone as talented as you has all of the means to find happiness on your own and not through someone else. My wish for all of the Aufschnaiter family is for you to find your happiness.”
Oh no, I can feel my armpits starting to get wet.
“I already told you, didn’t I?! My true happiness can only be found alongside you, ossan! What I want more than anything is to be your support from behind the scenes in whatever you need!”
It’s impossible.
It’s as unlikely as having anal sex in an E. coli free environment.
“What do you even find attractive about me? I’m just a dirty, middle-aged man.”
“Everything! Every inch of your body! I’d happily accept anything you’d put in my mouth!”
“….”
Dear god.
It’s a similar devotion that Ester-chan displayed not long ago. The succubus side of them is quite strong. This time the succubus isn’t a well-used bitch but a sausage in a skirt. I don’t think I can accept either.
A second half-succubus seems like it should be rare.
It makes me think that something involving a succubus must have happened in the Penny Empire in the past. A succubus must have blended into society and had sex with several of the aristocrats around the same time. It’s not too much of a stretch that these half-succubus children are descendants of that succubus.
Thinking back on it, the noble mage let something slip previously. The FitzClarence family had a child with incredibly high magical power. I don’t know much about this world, but a succubus being one of the parents of that child seems like a reasonable explanation.
The past doesn’t matter, only the present.
No matter what, I have to avoid the shotachinpo ending.
It’s been a repeated lesson throughout my life that I am in no position to have high standards or be picky about who to date. Not to mention that the person standing in front of me not only looks like a girl but he’s prettier than most.
But I’m genuinely not attracted to men.
My body and mind are attracted to the same thing they’ve always been attracted to.
That is the one point I won’t budge on.
I just want a beautiful girl with an intact hymen.
“That’s enough, Ash. You’re clearly making things difficult for Master Tanaka. I don’t really get what’s made you obsessed with him, but it’s not fair if you ignore how he feels, is it?”
“B-But….”
“You’re just going to have to accept it. If you absolutely can’t, then maybe try to work on yourself to become someone that he will accept.”
Gon-chan seemed to understand my feelings and attempted to offer me some respite from his brother’s advances. This simple comment was enough to calm the shotachinpo for the time being. He even offered a sliver of hope without outright denying him his feelings. Typical of Gon-chan.
“Master Tanaka, you didn’t put anything in there did you?”
Gon-chan that’s too much.
I glanced over at Sophia-chan and saw that she had a strangely excited expression. Please, don’t start picturing it. If things had gotten physical, I suppose it wouldn’t have gone further than me licking his nipples on the bed.
“I actually have no experience when it comes to the opposite sex….”
Ah, I said it.
The words slipped out due to the strange circumstances.
“Oi, oi, now isn’t the time to be lying like that, Tanaka-san.”
“Y-Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Honestly, that was a bad joke with terrible timing.”
“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry.”
That was close. I almost did the same thing as when I confessed my virginity during a work party. That was an absolute disaster. The entire place went silent and an uncomfortable atmosphere persisted throughout the night. This led to the rest of my time at that job being dreadful. I couldn’t even hold a simple conversation with any of my coworkers.
Even my boss, who was known to maintain a friendly relationship with his employees, started using honorifics when he referred to me. I never thought the number of times my penis entered a vagina could have such an impact on my life. Three months after my idiotic confession, I found a new job and my income increased slightly.
“We never had a physical relationship. You can ask him if you’d like.”
“Oh, well, I’ll take you at your word. Unless you have something to say, Ash.”
“Ugh….”
The shota turned his eyes to me.
His eyes were wet.
Those are the eyes of a maiden in love.
I can’t believe she’s a he.
It looked like the DC respected Gon-chan’s words and with him here, it was unlikely he’d push it any further.
Thank god. I’m so relieved.
I could easily foresee a future where I let the DC suck my penis without ever checking what he was hiding below. I would have let it happen and after the first time, it would be a recurring offense. I’d fall into shotachinpo hell with no way of getting out. I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime after seeing Pi-chan and Professor Bus in the library.
I need to palate cleanse with Edita Sensei’s panties.
Maybe even give Goggoru-chan’s skirt another attempt. That damn shadow can’t always be there.
“Fine, Gonzalez, but I want to ask a favour!”
“Aah, and what’s that?”
“Let me stay here!”
“What about the academy?”
“I’ve already applied for a leave of absence. I’ve already skipped a grade and am about two years ahead of everyone else. Even if I skip a year or two, I won’t be behind! Not to mention, I’ll be able to learn so much more being beside the ossan than I ever could studying at the academy.”
“Aah? A leave of absence? Why would you have already done that…?”
We did talk about that, didn’t we. I was supposed to bring her back to Academy City and finalize it, but I completely forgot.
I feel like a slutty man who tells his girlfriend to drop out of school and have his baby.
I feel terrible.
And it’s not like I can tell him to go back to the academy.
Any idea of a sexual relationship has vanished from my mind, but I still brought him here. The least I can do is provide him with food, shelter, and protection.
“That doesn’t matter now, okay!?”
“You’re living under different circumstances than Rock or me. We left the family before our house was purged. You’re the only one of us that is still considered to be a member of the Aufschnaiter family. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the risks you face by living here. The nobility of the Penny Empire aren’t known for their mercy.”
“I-I already knew that before coming here.”
“If you’re aware, then there’s nothing else I have to say. You’re a man, and you should be able to protect yourself.”
“Of course I can! I’m going to become the strongest! I won’t stop until I become strong enough to protect the ossan!”
I was hoping he would say he planned on becoming a woman in the future, even if it was a lie.
“I’m not in a position to allow anything when it comes to this city.”
Gon-chan’s eyes looked to me as he spoke.
Alright, I get it.
“If Gonzalez-san is going to take responsibility for you, I have no reason to deny it. I promise that as long as you are within my city, I will not tolerate any discrimination or violence against you.”
I’ll be sure to ask the loligon to protect him as well. If he has an ancient dragon watching his back, the only thing that could potentially pose a threat to him would be the rumored Demon King that the Great Holy Kingdom is always talking about.
“That’s great, don’t you think?”
“….”
The shotachinpo blushed slightly.
Please, don’t do that.
How am I even supposed to react?
***
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